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Saturday, February 25, 2017

"I have lived to thank God that not all my prayers have been answered." Jean Ingelow

Hey friends. It's been awhile and so much has happened. I picked this quote because of something my friend Erika said. I was in Relief Society and she basically said the same thing, aren't we happy that not all of our earnest pleadings have been answered how we wanted them to be answered? And for some reason, it hit me so strongly. I would have dated a lot of jerks. I would not have gone on a mission. I would be at Georgetown.  I would not be in Fort Collins. While I'm sure some of these would have still made me happy (GUYS DC WAS MY DREAM), I am just so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has a plan for me. I loved a recent blog post located here about how we are NOT screwing up Heavenly Father's plan for us. In it, it talks about how we are co-creators of our lives with Heavenly Father. And as long as we are making righteous decisions, we are living the life He wants us to live. How reassuring! I love knowing that my life can get back on track and that sometimes detours are the most beautiful tender mercies we can experience. There isn't a "how my life should be" rather a "how my life is and how beautiful I can make it." Anyway, the point is, I am so grateful that I have the Spirit to guide me and that my Heavenly Father, who has known me since before I was born, guides me but also trusts me to make big decisions. Because agency is the best gift. Onto some happy updates....

  • I moved into a townhouse! My grandparents were the best roommates and I will be so grateful for the time they let me live in their home. But mostly. I am grateful for the quality time I got to spend with them. I learned so much about them and I loved being able to chat with them about everything. I love my new room and all the new teal crap I bought at Target. I am finally being an adult. 
  • I had such an awesome night a few weeks ago in the temple. I got to be the ordinance worker in the celestial room. And for a solid 15 minutes, I was the only person in there since the session had not ended. It was such a unique experience and I took the opportunity to pour out my soul in prayer. Though what happened is personal, I can say that I know that the Lord and Heavenly Father love us. I loved something my mission president said about it: that we don't have to walk in Jerusalem to walk where Christ has walked because he has personally visited every single temple. I really needed the peace and I just felt like I was being bathed in celestial love. I love the peace that comes from the temple and how much I need that. I am always crazy about if I am doing enough or what I should be working on, and the celestial room is where I always get the confirmations or promptings that I am doing enough or what I can improve. It's been 2 weeks since the temple closed and I am just so ready for it to be open again so I can reap the benefits again. 
  • I finally did my taxes by myself for the first time ever... #adulting. And I am so happy because I am getting a large enough return that I will be going to the Dominican Republic at the end of the April. I was going through my mission stuff yesterday and got pretty nostalgic and therefore emotional. As I was flipping through some of my planners and journal, I just had this amazing sense of gratitude that Heavenly Father let me serve. It goes back to the beginning quote. Most of you know I did NOT want to serve a mission. But when I knew, I was fine as long as I did not get called to a third world country. Then I got called to the DR. I could not believe it. But that island is a sacred place for me. I learned so much and served with people tailor-made for me and I just love all the people. I cannot wait to check in on all the wonderful members and converts. And, if we are being honest, I cannot wait to actually put my feet in the water at the beach ha. 
  • I got into CSU! I am just waiting for DU's program to let me know and whether or not I will get the graduate assistantship at CSU. But I really love Fort Collins and my ward, so I am hoping I get the assistant position so I can stay up here and get a master's degree for free, and then peace out and teach english abroad. I was reading my mission journal yesterday and I flipped it open to a random page and it was a very strong prompting. In it, and I remember this moment clearly, I had written that I knew I was not going to Georgetown because it wasn't the path I should be on and that I wanted to be a teacher. I honestly had forgotten that happened. I am so happy I wrote it down in the midst of food miracles and real spiritual miracles ha (seriously guys, a lot of my tender mercies recorded in my journal involved food. It's slightly embarrassing actually!) So we will see what happens. Who knows where I will end up? For once in my life, I am okay not knowing. 
  • I had a mini miracle happen! I fed the elders and they invited me to look at my friend's list on Facebook and share something about Christ with one of them. When I did so, a random individual that I barely knew in high school kept standing out. I ignored it for a few seconds, but I knew he was who I should reach out to. So I promised them that by Monday I would share my favorite scripture with him. So in typical Kelsey "I avoid things that make me uncomfortable" fashion, I waited until an hour before I would see the missionaries on Monday. But, it ended awesomely because the person reached out and said that what they needed to hear. Heavenly Father really does let us have opportunities to be His hand and extend His love if we let him. I've decided I am going to actively pray more for opportunities like this. It was just a reassurance that promptings never lie and how much Heavenly Father loves all of His children regardless of their faith. 
  • I finished the book of mormon and I just want to share one of my favorite scriptures: "And Shiz began again to build up a broken people." This scripture is sacred for me. On my mission, I was having some struggles with my parent's divorce and I had an interview with President Corbitt. In this incredible life-changing 10 minutes, he shared this scripture with me and said one of the reasons I had had to serve a mission is to see that broken things can be built up again. And he taught me a beautifully brief lesson about the atonement. Ever since then, I also put my name in it "And Kelsey began again to build up a broken people." This applies to not just my family, but myself when I falter. And it's just a succint way of describing what is possible with faith and Heavenly Father's love and mercy. I saw "broken" people a lot on my mission and how the gospel changed them. It's one of the most beautiful things to witness. 
  • I read this book called Ordinary Goodness and loved it. While I did not agree with his concepts of God, I loved the idea of just being good in ordinary situations and helping others. One of the exercises he encouraged us to do was write a personal manifesto. It was super fun! I made one and it's my passion journal so I can read it whenever. It made me set some boundaries but also allowed me to express what was important to me. The example of the personal manifesto he gives is from someone named David Ault and he made a pledge which you can read here. I loved what he said and you should read it!
  • Bikini body. So I am doing this 12 week workout program and it's kicking my butt! It's only three days a week and then the rest of the week is cardio, but it's the perfect program for me. I decided to do it because my friend Erika was heading it up. But then, I was reading through my patriarchal blessing and I realized it talks a lot about how physical some of my tasks will be and I want to be prepared. I am on week 9, so wish me luck! (It'll end a month before the DR, so I am going to do it again ha) 
  • I am obsessed with the new Coldplay and Chainsmokers song and may have listened to it 10000 times. Listen to it: 

That's life. I have read a zillion books recently, but one thing I loved was when C.S. Lewis stated, "Joy is the serious business of heaven." My life isn't suddenly more happy. It's just my attitude has changed and I have learned to be grateful for everything I have. Let's be happy and enjoy the sunshine! 

My new dresser that I built with my Papa! 
Galentine's Relief Society 2017
When people tell me to calm down... 



My personal manifesto!

Belly dancing level: shimmying status 

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