“Conflict is also like a journey. We talk about getting ourselves “in” and “out” of messes, problems, and “situations.” We try to figure out “where we are” on an issue, or where somebody “is headed” with a crazy idea. Our language talks about a journey. In conflict, more than in any other human experience, we see ourselves and others in new and profound ways, and we seek to restore truth and love in ourselves. If we take care to look beyond the words and the issues, we see God.”- John Paul Lederach
"We receive our inspiration from the mountains, but receive our maturity from the valleys of life."-Winston Churchill
"Never put a question mark where the Lord has put a period."- Harold B. Lee
"Learn how to stay with your fear; learn how to use it to build a muscle for facing what feels scary and overwhelming." - Daisy Ozim
"I would like to become tolerant without overlooking anything. Persecute no one even when all people persecute me. Become better without noticing it. Become sadder, but enjoy living. Become more serene. Be hapy in others. Belong to no one, grow in everyone. Love the best, comfort the worst, not even hate myself anymore." Elias Canetti
"You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path."-Joseph Campbell
Funniest Memory:
This was hard for me, but the time I laughed the hardest was with Lindsey and Marisa on are unforgettable spring break trip to Glenwood. Not only did I get so sick that I wanted to see if there were missionaries there to give me a blessing, but we also got a 'cave rave' by our cave enthusiast, Cole and I probably will never forget it. I won't ever forget thinking I would die from severe cramps and an episode of what I now know to be IBS in our sketchy hotel room either.
*Runner up moment was when Leanna and I were mediating and it was a ridiculous dispute and the plaintiff just starts talking about how Judge Judy wanted him on his show. I couldn't stop wanting to laugh and it was a highly funny moment.
*Another honorable mention is when Mason and Heather were getting sealed and my papa goes, "Okay Mason, take Sister Davis and walk over here" and Mason started walking towards my mom instead of Heather.
Embarrassing Moment of the Year:
This was easy. Marisa and I went to a placed called Park Burger near DU. I had recently been diagnosed with IBS and I had forgotten that avocados and garlic were big trigger foods. I ate a lot of both and then we decided to go on a walk. Well... my stomach all the sudden really needed the restroom, so I told Marisa we needed to power walk to the restaurant or I would poop my pants. Good news is we had been roommates for three years in college and she loves me, so she was nice about it, but it wasn't my fondest memory.
Cool People I Met This Year:
- Michelle Kwan
- John Paul Lederach
- Madeline Albright
Best Piece of Advice:
This one is tied between Taylor and Lindsey.
- Taylor's piece of advice came a few weeks ago when I was worried about going back to Target the day after I had a sob fest about one of my students and couldn't stop crying so I left work early. He reminded me that people wouldn't judge me for caring about students and that it really didn't matter what other people thought. I was so nervous about going back until he said that and realized that nobody at Target knew the full story and as he reminded me, I was quitting in two weeks anyway. It gave me the confidence to not freak out about going back. (Also, they really didn't care. My boss made sure I was alright and then was super stoked I had come back). I'm working on caring about people's opinions of me less.
- Lindsey's was also helpful. I have done a lot of relationship research because getting married was scary territory for me. A lot of reading talks about having shared experiences and memories and I started freaking out that Taylor and I had very little shared experiences. He hadn't known me when I went to DC or when I sobbed my brains nearly every day when my parents were getting divorced. He didn't know me as Hermana Davis and he wasn't technically here for my masters. Those were all big milestones and provided a huge growth for me. She reminded me that she hadn't been there for some of those moments and she also hadn't known me for any of those big moments in high school but they had become like shared memories because I had talked about them at length. It clicked that Taylor and I had created a shared space even though most of our relationship we've been apart. It was a tender mercy she said this and I'll be forever grateful.
- One of my favorite things I've learned is there is a difference between intent and impact. I can't tell you how many conversations I've had where I've said, "but I never meant to be rude/mean/arrogant, etc." And that's not the point. The point is how the person was impacted.
- Emotional bids. I've already written about this but this term is the best!
- Another thing I love is the idea that everyone has their own sense of truth. Everyone has their own story that they tell themselves and oftentimes a conflict comes from two conflicting truths. I've always been comfortable acknowledging that
- I learned a lot about my personal triggers and biases which has been helpful in my field.
Weirdest Place I Visited:
The bigfoot museum. But it was also a serious highlight and one of the best hours of this year. I'm half tempted to write the BFRO (Bigfoot Research Organization) into my will but I won't. It was seriously so fun!
Most Spiritual Moment:
This is also a tie between doing sealings with my future in-laws and the time our mission had a 'reunion' at the temple and I was once again in the temple with President Corbitt and I felt like even the angels were happy that Taylor and I were getting married. Both were spiritual highs for me this year during moments I really needed the spirit.
Songs That Motivated Me: (I tend to associate songs with my time of life, though some of these songs have always been my jam, many will always remind me of grad school)
- Whatever it Takes-Imagine Dragons
- The entirety of Taylor Swift's reputation.
- Never Give Up and the Greatest- Sia
- Run the World-Beyonce
- Who's Laughing Now?-Jessie J
- Might Not Like Me- Bryn Elliot
- Woman- Kesha
- Anything written by John Paul Lederach. He's my new worldly obsession.
- Educated a memoir by Tara Westover that is about a woman who was in a Mormon family who grew up with extreme views that didn't allow her to go to school. She ends up going to BYU and eventually finished her PhD at Cambridge and is one of the most beautifully written memoirs I've ever read.
- Multiple BYU Speeches. I got really into reading them when I had a free moment at my internship, but one of my favorites is Women and Education: "A Future Only God Could See For You" and Be 100% Responsible. If you get a chance, read one of them. They were exceptional.
- The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. She's actually a conflict resolution practitioner but it's a fascinating read on the importance of gathering together for a specific purpose.
- Text Me When You Get Home. Lindsey got this for my birthday and it's a book about female friendships and is a solid read about how we need to make sure we always cultivate our relationships with our friends.
Best Moment at Work:
This is my second grade friend and I will call him John for the purpose of this quick story. When I first met him, we had to take him to the quiet room (where there is no stimulus and no furniture because he was throwing chairs and scissors and yelling that we weren't his boss. He repeatedly kicked me in the shins and called me an effing b multiple times. Flash forward several months and I took this picture after he was throwing crayons at other students. (A significant improvement from scissors). He had calmed down in less than a minute and was working quietly at my office and I took this picture to send to Taylor. A few minutes later, he came over and asked, "Ms. Kelsey, do you do hugs?" My first thought was oh my gosh, we are teaching boys consent! But I promptly responded and said, "Of course I do bud!" He gave me a hug and with some tears in his eyes replies, "I never feel like anyone cares about me, but I know you do." I looked right in his eyes, gave him a big hug and said, "You bet I do!" He's obsessed with watches and loves my Apple Watch. I bought him a watch off Amazon that has a vibrating timer and he had to earn it before Christmas. The day before break, he wouldn't take it off and would tell every single person he met that this was his new watch. He's kind of a turkey, but I love that little dude and I love my job.
Here's to 2019: the year I walk for my master's degree, finish my first year at a real job and get married! It's going to be awesome!
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